When you're not sure your parents will approve...
Saying of the week:
One of the most exhausting things in life is pretending to be someone you are not.
Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
Me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for 2 years now I’m 16 and he as just recently turned 18 and he asked me to marry him. I’m not too sure what to say, I mean I love him and want to be with him for all my life but I'm not too sure what my parents will say when they find out I’m engaged to
him or leave him and I don't want to start a fight with my parents... - A, NSW
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Answer:
Hi A,
Your email is about love. Love sometimes has to be tested. Your boyfriend seems happy to keep this arrangement secret. How much he is considering the pressure you feel?
If he truly loves you he would want you to be totally happy, which means being open about what you both want, or waiting till you are older. Marriage is about being responsible adults. If your boyfriend is really keen to make your relationship a committed one, he is the one who needs to do something about this by approaching your parents.
Or you can love him, your parents, and yourself, by standing in your power. Ask him to wait till you are ready. This seems to indicate a time when you feel your parents could handle his approach.
Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
I’ve made a really good group of friends at school but all the girls are total bitches and bully other people. They only accept somebody if they are pretty, skinny and a bitch as well.
At lunch we all play soccer together and they are really good. But if I make a wrong move, they get really mad at me! But whenever somebody in the group does that, they just favour them. I’ve talked to the whole group about it but they never listen.
Everybody else in my grade are complete dorks and I would hate to fit in with them. But maybe they are the only people I have! Should I act like a bitch just to fit in with my “so called friends” or should I ditch them for better people? Dolly, I’m really confused and really stressed! What should I do? - J, NSW
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Answer:
Hello J,
You show a considerable amount of awareness on what’s really going on for you in this situation. Like, this group of “so called friends” you currently hang out with are fairly hard core with their rules. Their rules are ones you don’t really feel comfortable with.
Ask your self this: do I want to be happier than I am now? You are clever enough to realize this group probably isn’t where you want to be. Just read your email again! You actually want to make a stand and do what you feel is right for you. There are “better” people out there who don’t enjoy hurting others, and that’s who you could head towards.
You’ve decided in advance that all the others in your grade are dorks. Just join in with some of their activities, and get to know them. You have courage and beliefs that include caring for others. You’ll easily find peeps who feel like that. Showing kindness is one of the recognized ways to be happy. Your stress outs will disappear! .
Email us with your questions dollymail@acpmagazines.com.au with "DOLLYinnergirl" as the subject.
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